People read the Scripture verse, "What God has joined together let not man separate" and believe it to mean that every marriage is a union God has ordained and therefore will bless. Unfortunately, this is not so. God is not obligated to bless every marriage - only those He has joined together.
God told Adam that it was not good for man (or woman) to be alone. Most of us agree. So, we set out to find that perfect person we believe was made just for us. We are convinced that when we do, they will make us happy, we will make them happy and the union will become a happily-ever-after kind of marriage. This makes sense because the world tells us that the pursuit of happiness is what leads to true success. But is that really true? If so, then why are so many once happily married couples still not happy?
By now, we should all know that there is no such thing as a perfect person. We are all imperfect people living in an imperfect world. With this being the case, we should know that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage for it is impossible for perfection to come out of imperfection. So how does one have a good and successful marriage?
First, we must recognize that God’s idea of success and the world’s idea of success is completely different. The world defines success as that which has accomplished prosperity, affluence, wealth, opulence, comfort and ease of life. The world tells us that if we pursue these things, we will have all we need to be happy. Not so.
Second, we must understand that a godly marriage and a worldly marriage is also different. The world agrees that the idea of marriage is good. And everyone wants a successful marriage. Yet all marriages are not good. Marriage is good not because the world thinks so but because God created it so.
A godly marriage is a holy covenant that consists of only one man and one woman joined together for the purpose of glorifying Jesus through their union. A worldly marriage is a man-made merger consisting of two or more beings (for in this evil day, people are even marrying animals) for the purpose of satisfying their own fleshly desires. The latter is a mockery and a distortion of what God created marriage to be.
So how does one have a good and successful, godly marriage? One must first have a relationship with Jesus Christ. A truly successful marriage consists of a strong cord that is made up of three strands - God, husband and wife. Once this is understood, a couple should embrace God’s word concerning their responsibilities in marriage. A godly marriage is good however that does not mean a godly marriage is without problems. Quite the contrary. Satan loves to attack God’s people by aiming at the marriage relationship. However, a godly marriage should reflect God's presence. So the couple going into the marriage should not be the same when the Lord calls them out of the marriage.
God does nothing unintentional. He uses His married couples to accomplish much in the Kingdom. You see, ministry begins first in the family. The Lord uses the marriage relationship to further develop the husband and wife. He works in them and through them individually as well as corporately. If God adds children to the union, He requires the parents to provide for them a proper training ground. With God’s guidance, together the family learns love, holiness, faithfulness, unity, forgiveness, mercy, grace, tenderness, appreciation, consideration, patience and more. What God does through His married couples overflow into the world. A marriage submitted to God and used in this way is considered a good and successful marriage in God’s eyes.
If a marriage is strong, the family will be strong and will have the ability to successfully serve as both offense and defense in spiritual warfare. These stand on the front line in the attack against the enemy.
God wants to be our first love. He wants to spend one-on-one time with us to cultivate a close relationship with Him. He wants us to get to know Him, love Him and come to recognize all that He is in our life. Then He wants to be a part of everything that is important to us. What is so beautiful about our relationship with the Lord is that He wants us to know His perfect Love first so that when the time is right for Him to bring us that someone special, we will know how to share that love.